


The Two of Us, Versus You (The We Could Be Three Remix)

by trinaest



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Community: remix_redux, M/M, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-10
Updated: 2011-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-17 21:26:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/181311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinaest/pseuds/trinaest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah might be a little annoyed with his friends, but it isn't what they seem to think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Two of Us, Versus You (The We Could Be Three Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eyebrowofdoom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyebrowofdoom/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Two of Us, Versus You](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/2887) by eyebrowofdoom. 



> Thanks to Ivy and Lishan for looking this over for me and providing excellent feedback and suggestions!

Elijah waits in the car while Dom goes inside to find Billy, listening to the constant drone of the PA system warnings ("The white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers. Unattended vehicles will be ticketed and towed"). After a while, he turns up the stereo volume and grabs the iPod to look for something to drown out the incessant chatter.

He slouches down in his seat, closes his eyes, and concentrates on the music. He's nicely zoned out, his fingers drumming out the beat on the steering wheel, when someone--Dom?--thumps on the car with the flat of his hand. He jumps, then smiles at the hand reaching toward him through the open window of the passenger side. "Billy!" he exclaims, holding out a hand to grasp Billy's.

In the rearview mirror he glimpses Dom waiting by the trunk--ah, the thump _had_ been Dom, then--and lets go of Billy's hand so he can reach the trunk release lever. Billy only helps Dom with his luggage for a moment before reappearing at the window.

“Do you think we can let him have shotgun, Lij?” Dom yells from behind the car.

"Oh, I don't know," Elijah shouts back, shooting a grin in Billy’s direction.

Billy climbs into the front seat next to Elijah. “I’m a good date. I put out.”

"Good to know," Elijah says, still smiling as Billy cranes his neck to look out the back window toward Dom. All he can see is the trunk lid, of course.

Then the trunk lid slams closed and Dom joins them, sliding into the back seat.

Elijah peers out the front window, then into the mirrors, and sighs. They're blocked in quite well by cars on both ends. Should he wait or try to jockey them out of this spot? He reluctantly puts the car in gear and inches forward. Billy, with his vantage point from the passenger seat, and Dom, looking out the rear window, give him directions, and between the three of them he maneuvers the car out of its near-confinement and heads toward the freeway.

“Hey, we should show him the sights on the way home. Take Pacific.” Dom gestures toward Billy with a tilt of his head that Elijah can just see in the rear-view mirror.

“God,” Elijah says, “That’ll take fucking ages.”

“What are you talking about?” Dom shoots back. “The freeway takes just as long--three times as long at this time of day, even--and well, who wants to look at an LA freeway when we can stare at the ocean instead?”

Elijah rolls his eyes, more annoyed at being told what to do than about the suggested route, and heads toward Santa Monica. He ignores Billy saying "Fellers, I _have_ been to Santa Monica before," in an attempt to interrupt them. (Dom doesn't ignore him, but doesn't listen either. "Shut up, no one's asking you," is all he says.)

Elijah knows why Dom has been so excited about Billy’s visit, and he knows why Billy can’t seem to stay still in his seat, constantly craning to look at Dom over the seat back even though he can’t see past it while wearing his seat belt. When Elijah makes a brief stop at a gas station to fill up the tank, he catches them _holding hands_ when he gets back, for Christ’s sake. He rolls his eyes and shrugs, leaving them to think that, yes, he’s _that_ oblivious.

\-----

It's dark by the time they get to the house, and Elijah orders pizza for delivery. Or tries to, anyway: Dom keeps distracting Elijah by poking at him. Elijah dances as far away from him as he can, hissing "Stop it!" with his hand over the receiver, but eventually he's cornered with no way to get away from Dom without going _through_ him.

Finally he yells at Dom, “Get out! Out! Bad dog!” He points at the door, not missing the smirk on Billy’s face as he watches scene unfold.

Dom relents and shuffles away from him, head down. Elijah’s sure that he has his bottom lip stuck out in a pout. Elijah turns his back on his ridiculous friends and finishes ordering the pizza. He can hear Dom calling quietly from the doorway, “Anchovies... an-cho-vies...” so he sighs and adds anchovies to the order.

When he hangs up and turns around, Dom and Billy have both disappeared into the living room. He walks into the other room only to discover that--of course--the two are wrestling. If he stays away for long, he’s sure the wrestling match would devolve into, well, a whole different sort of wrestling match, so he announces his presence.

“Game on!” Elijah remarks from the doorway. “Loser pays for pizza.”

“The two of us versus you,” Dom says, grinning as Billy lets him up.

“Uh-uh,” Elijah says, palms up, backing away. He hears someone--Dom, most likely--mutter, “Spoilsport” under his breath, but he just shakes his head and leaves the two idiots to their play fight.

\-----

Later, the pizza boxes are empty but for the grease soaked into the bottoms and the bits of toppings that fell off and no one bothered to retrieve. Elijah isn’t sure who ended up winning the wrestling match, but he’d wound up paying for the pizzas. He sets his beer bottle on the table with a clink and a wobble, yawns, and looks at Dom. “I hope you’re satisfied. I taste all fishy.” He can feel the oily fishiness in his mouth as much as he can taste it.

Dom raises his finger. “Have you considered…” he begins.

“Shut up,” Elijah says. “If the humor has deteriorated that far, it’s definitely time for bed.”

He turns to Billy, patting him on the knee, and says, “I ought to get off Billy’s bed, anyway,” just to see if either of them reacts. He knows where Billy will actually be sleeping, and it isn’t on this lumpy couch. He stands, pushing himself up with a hand on Billy’s knee, and heads for the door.

At the doorway, he glances back. Yep, definitely some silent communication passing between the two of them. Idiots. Elijah shakes his head and turns to go. “Night!” he sings out, and heads upstairs.

\-----

He snuggles into his pillow, curled on his side, and sighs. Except he doesn’t fall asleep, because as soon as he closes his eyes, he hears Dom and Billy rumbling up the stairs to Dom’s room. Great. He’d hoped to be asleep before this started. He knows from past experience that he won’t be able to sleep while they’re at it, so he rolls onto his back and settles in to, well, not intentionally to listen but it’s not like he has much choice in the matter. _To wait it out._ He settles in to wait it out.

He tries to distract himself by reciting lines from his last movie in his head. By dredging up a song he knows from start to finish. By re-enacting some of his favorite moments from-- _Ah, crap_. His favorite moments from then include both of the people he’s trying to distract himself from. Of course. The sounds carrying from next door overwhelm anything he tries anyway.

 _Ah, fuck_ , he thinks a little while later when the result of listening in to their sighs and moans and rhythmic movements becomes apparent. He feels more than a little guilty for getting off on the overheard noises, but it's not like he can help his reaction. He also can't help the pictures running through his head. He knows both of them too well, after all the time spent working together and living with Dom, not to be able to see the scene in the next room quite clearly in his mind. He should probably try to stop the reel running in his head, but 1) he really can't, and 2) what's the point?

He gives up trying to talk himself out of what he knows he’s going to do anyway and slips a hand under the blanket. He touches himself gently at first, just a light touch sliding from the base of his cock to the tip. _Yeah_ , he thinks, wrapping his fingers around his cock with a firmer grip. He hears someone moan and gives himself a stroke. Then a groan--Dom?--and he strokes again, harder, running his thumb over the tip and making himself squirm. Then a rhythm starts up in earnest and Elijah follows along. He pictures two blonde heads, a sweat-soaked back, muscular arms (Dom), and wiry legs wrapped around the other’s (Billy). He falls into the images and the sounds and, other than trying to remember to keep himself quiet, he loses himself in the sensations. For a while it’s leisurely, following along with Dom and Billy’s rhythm, languid strokes up and down, making him even harder with the almost-teasing pace.

As the tension builds, so does the intensity of the rhythmic movement from the next room. Elijah grips harder, increasing his tempo to match, and he doesn’t know how long those two are going to be, but he knows he won’t last a whole lot longer. After a short time, he succumbs to his own needs and speeds up, jacking himself quickly toward the end, hips lifting slightly off the bed involuntarily, pushing his cock up into his own hand. He throws his free arm across his face and muffles his own moan as he pushes, pulls. Once. Twice. _Oh god._ A few more rapid pulls and he’s there, erupting over his hand and onto his stomach. He gentles himself through the orgasm and stills.

They’re still going at it next door, but suddenly he’s much more peaceful. He wipes at the mess with the sheet and shoves the soiled linen to the side, curling up under the blanket, on his side again, finally ready to fall off to sleep.

\-----

Elijah wakes up in the morning feeling rather contented. Nothing like a good jack-off session--or, you know, actual sex--before sleeping to make everything completely right with your world in the morning. He yawns, stretches, and climbs out of bed, gathering the soiled sheets and the clothes he’d left scattered across the room and tossing them into the hamper.

He goes into the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror. He runs a hand through his unruly mop of hair and grins before hopping into the shower. Once he’s clean and shaved, hair still damp, he wanders down the hall and quietly opens the door to Dom’s room, peering inside.

Ah, they’re awake. Of course, can’t keep their hands off each other long enough to sleep, even. So he steps into the room, announcing innocently, “Oh, this is where you got to, Billy.” He moves toward the bed, noting that there is suddenly more space between Dom and Billy than there was when he’d first peered into the room.

“Get lonely on the couch or something?” He sits on the bed near Billy and taps his knuckles against Billy’s shoulder.

“Eh, my back hurt,” Billy says, with his back to Elijah. “Th’young Dominic was good enough to take me in against the ravening winter’s cold.”

“I even bought all the matches,” Dom adds from the other side of the bed.

“Uh-huh,” Elijah responds.

“Personally,” Billy says, “I’m a bit concerned he has nefarious purposes in mind for me, and I don’t just mean scullery duties, eh?” He still doesn’t roll over, but twists he head around to look at Elijah.

Elijah grins at Billy. “You know, I am perfectly aware that sometimes, in the morning, the human penis…”

“Well, now you mention it,” Billy replies. He rolls onto his back, smirking at Elijah.

Elijah clearly sees the blanket tenting at Billy’s hips, then looks away, shaking his head and laughing.

Billy reaches for his watch on the bedside table.

Elijah says, to Dom, “I’m going to the store, so…” His eyes follow the movement of Billy’s hand toward the bedside table, and he spies a torn-open packet next to Billy’s watch. He feels his eyes widen a bit, but he’s just startled to see it, not actually surprised. Elijah glances at Billy’s face and sees that he’s watching him, wary. Elijah raises an eyebrow, smiles a little, then turns to Dom.

“Okay, well, I’ll leave you to it,” he says with a quick grin. Then he hops off the bed and heads to the door, zig-zagging around clothes left strewn haphazardly, Dom’s and Billy’s mixed together tellingly. If there’d been anything to tell.

\-----

Elijah runs to the store to pick up a few things--including coffee--and then heads back home. He putters around in the kitchen, setting up the coffee maker, deciding what to have for breakfast. Brunch? He knows Dom will be after coffee immediately upon entering the room. Assuming he ever drags himself out of bed, that is.

He’s trying to give them space, make them comfortable. Maybe then they’ll tell him themselves? He shakes his head. It’s getting a little annoying, trying to project “everything’s okay with me!” and yet both of them still keep giving him those wary looks. Like he’s going to fly off the handle. Kick them out of his house or something. He sighs. They seem to be afraid he’s a fucking homophobe, which, frankly, kind of pisses him off. Nice assumption to make about a friend.

He glances up from the coffee filter he was concentrating on when he hears footsteps. Billy wanders into the kitchen wearing a pair of familiar-looking pajama pants. Must be Dom’s. “Hey,” he says, going back to the filter so he can get the coffee started.

“Hi,” Billy says, leaning against the counter next to Elijah. He goes to put the filter in the coffee maker, but winds up clutching it in his hand instead because Billy’s hand is on his arm, stopping him.

Elijah turns to Billy. “What?”

“Look,” Billy says. Elijah rolls his eyes and turns back toward the coffee pot. His patience is wearing thin with all this beating around the bush.

Billy pokes him in the arm, hard. “Oi!” Billy says, “Don’t look like that!” He pokes Elijah again, in the ribs.

“Like what? I don’t look like anything,” Elijah says, jerking away from Billy’s poking finger.

“Bollocks you don’t,” Billy says. He hip-checks Elijah and throws an arm around his neck, quickly getting him into a headlock. Elijah tries to squirm away, but Billy’s got too firm a hold on him so he cringes as Billy scrubs his knuckles into Elijah’s scalp.

“Stop it, you asshole!” Elijah squeaks, making Billy laugh, but he stops with the knuckles at least. For the moment. He tries, unsuccessfully, to jerk away again, then goes still. “Can I have my head back any time soon?” he asks.

“Perhaps you’d like to hear a nice song about Bonnie Prince Charlie?” Billy teases. He clears his throat.

“No!” Elijah says, trying again to squirm away.

“All right then,” Billy says, and lets Elijah go.

Elijah darts away and turns back toward Billy with a scowl. “What is wrong with you?” he demands.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? You’re the one--“

"What the hell are you-- Look, _you_ are the assholes who go sneaking around like I couldn't possibly know or understand or, or _accept_ you." He glares at Billy, who's gone silent. "I didn't say anything because you two didn't trust me enough to tell me. I tried to make it clear that I know and I don’t care but you're apparently too obtuse to notice the difference between 'great, whatever you guys want' and 'homophobe.’"

Billy strides across the space between them then and seizes Elijah around the waist. “Hah!” Billy says.

Elijah gives a token struggle, then sighs and asks, “What now?”

“What I was trying to say was...”

“Oh my god, you are such an asshole. I’ve already told you it’s okay. It is. Okay.”

“No,” Billy says, “Shut up. If you’re going to be angry with me for not telling you, then I’m going to tell you.” He pauses, probably for dramatic effect, Elijah figures, then continues. “Sometimes when two blokes keep touching each other all the time...”

“Oh, for god’s sake,” Elijah mutters, relaxing in Billy’s grip, giving up any lingering anger as his friend continues, ridiculously.

“And poking each other, and rubbing up against each other, and even giving each other a bit of a kiss...” Billy smacks a kiss on Elijah’s cheek.

“Stop it!” Elijah objects, but he’s smiling.

“Sometimes it’s ‘cause they’re just joking around. And sometimes,” Billy says, “it’s not. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Elijah rolls his eyes. Hadn’t he just got done telling Billy that he knew and it was okay? Billy kisses Elijah’s cheek again, and then again. Elijah starts struggling to get away again, and he can feel his face turning red. He glances toward the door and instantly stops struggling, tensing even more. Dom is standing there, not quite inside the room, with a blank look on his face. Like he doesn’t understand what he’s seeing.

Billy follows Elijah’s gaze and smiles. “Oh, I’m just explaining the facts of life to our young Elijah here.” Elijah feels one of Billy’s hands lift off his back briefly and then press into place again. The next thing he knows, he’s being pushed back--right into Dom--with Billy following so that now he’s sandwiched between them. They both resettle their arms so that they’re holding onto each other, with Elijah stuck in the middle.

Elijah says, “It’s okay, it’s okay. I was mad, but I’m not anymore. Argh, just...”

“Shh!” Dom says, tightening his grip around the two of them. “Where are we up to in the lesson, Billy?”

Billy says, grinning, “I was just telling Elijah that sometimes, when Daddy and Daddy love each other very much...”

Elijah can see Billy grinning, but he’s looking over Elijah’s shoulder, so he imagines Dom grinning back. Next thing he knows, Dom is wriggling right up against his back and, oh god, Billy is doing the same thing against his front, and if they don’t stop soon... “I know what Daddy and Daddy do, okay, I know already, you don’t have to _demonstrate_!” Elijah’s voice is much higher than usual, but he’s a little desperate to just move away from them. Even a foot. Just. Some space.

Dom is shaking now--the asshole must be laughing--and Elijah squirms harder, but of course that just makes both of them squeeze him even more. Until Elijah says, “Uh, god!” and goes rigid between them.

Dom pulls away suddenly, leaving Elijah free to worm sideways and slip away.

He’s already in the other room, but he hears Dom ask Billy, “Do you think we could have fucked him just then, the two of us?” Elijah stops in his tracks and backtracks toward the kitchen door.

He leans in, catching them pressed up together by the counter, and replies. “Try a different approach next time. We might all be surprised.” He grins at their stunned expressions, then turns and leaves the room again. Let them wonder. Is he really interested? He isn’t sure yet, but maybe...if they weren’t such idiots. He shakes his head fondly and heads upstairs, giving up the kitchen for the moment. He can have brunch later.


End file.
